As an artist, I have great days when what I am doing, goes well and good and each work comes out as I hope it would or even better. I know by now he's wondering whether or not I am finished with the project I promised to do for him. I wanted to do it for him, not because he asked or that I wanted to impress him with my talent because well, I always have to improve on my skill.
I did because I think a great deal of him as a person and as a man, whom I respect. I can't give much, but I can give of myself from what I have been gifted with. I care about him very much and I am very attached to him, like he is a part of myself and I think the world of him.
I don't always know all the things that go on in the relationship we have but I do understand why. I just never want it to end or loose him, it would be like loosing a special part of who I am.
I know he has been through so much this past year and I do know the pain is still there. If I could, I'd give him a hug, like had given to me when I was hurting. He gives so much of himself.
Things started to fall apart for me when my daughter was diagnosed with Anorexia. I was so scared of losing my daughter, fighting to get her to eat and well was a daily struggle. Fretting that her heart rate would continue being low. All together, it felt like my world was coming apart and to add to it , we lost communication with each other, something was wrong in his world too . Doing artwork throughout this wasn't easy. I couldn't concentrate, getting frustrated that it wasn't going like I wanted and frequently I would mess up, redo an area,wearing the surface thin to eventually, it was beyond what I could fix.
I stopped completely putting the project aside was the only thing I do. I just needed to get away from it and think it through before starting again. I wanted to do the portrait for him but my heart wasn't in it.
Then I started my job, trying to relieve some of the medical bills and still worrying if my daughter was eating enough while I was gone, echoed in the back of my mind.
I was so happy when I heard from him on here, it meant so much to me, I never said that on here but I am saying it now! I just wish I could have been more of a help during the death of his parents, he really needed me too. I never was sure he did. My daughter started to do better as well. That is something that I couldn't do myself.
So, I want to say to him and I pray he reads this, I promised to do a portrait of all the wonderful things you have accomplished in your life. The loves that are so close to your heart. I am re-starting it over with one exception, I am going to do a portrait of your beloved parents.
You showed me love and kindness so many times and I want to show you the same love and kindness,
Thank you for being in my life! I am always here!
Love Always,
Your Artist.
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